Female Falsehoods

There are no rules for life, we all know that. No one takes you to one side and gives you a fool proof method for getting from day to day, but there are a number of places online where you can go to get advice. Some of it is useful, some of it really not.

I think we all too often think that the useful advice is what everyone expects of us; the “mainstream” stuff. People think that what they see in the movies and on television is how it should be and it isn’t always right. In fact, some of it is damaging to us if we believe that’s how life should be.

Social media sites have recently come under fire in the press for making people feel less positive about themselves. We all go online daily and see all of the wonderful things that people are doing and it isn’t nice when you’re feeling lonely or sad, or if you’re having relationship difficulties and you just see everyone acting super happy and plastering it all over the web. You can’t stop people from doing this, but you can take it all with a pinch of salt. Life isn’t always as rosy as it seems and it is often the people who have the loudest online presence who are the most unhappy.

We grow up thinking that we should have lots of friends and that we should be liked by everyone and be hugely successful and a complete badass in whatever we do and there is a fair amount of stuff circulating on the web to say that this is a load of hogwash. I am certainly not the first to say this and don’t profess to be, but I do think that kids today are under the illusion that they need to have loads and loads of friends to be successful in life, or at least to be a personally confident individual. It is a shame because it is often the case that kids torment themselves until they become an adult and then realise that they shouldn’t care what others think of them.

I mean, yes if you’re a horrible person then people won’t like you but it is often the case that people won’t like you for a whole load of other reasons that aren’t your fault at all. Jealousy is a main reason that people will dislike you throughout your life (not just in childhood) and they will often blame other reasons for not liking you because no one wants to admit that they’re horrible to you because they want to be like you, or have what you have. Now, at the age of 37, I have realised that the same dramas that circulate through my friends are exactly the same dramas that circulated when I was 16. As women, we never change much in terms of what annoys and upsets us and relationships in particular don’t change; the same things happen, the same arguments.

Life tells you to be strong and “empower” (I actually despise that word) each other and this is true to a certain extent, but it doesn’t mean that we can’t feel scared, or alone, or worried, or like a failure and it certainly doesn’t doesn’t mean we shouldn’t tell our friends about it. We shouldn’t have to punish ourselves for something that is a natural human response. Learn from it, grow from it and use the experience to move forward. Never feel like you’re being “less than” just because you are struggling with life right now.

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